I can't say I wasnt pleased to see the back of last year. On top of the global event's I lost my eldest dog, my partners dog and a close friend from the village.
But saying my farewells to 2020 felt like I was leaving them all behind and it feels like the distance between us is growing further and further away. I have to remind myself, time and space is just an illusion, A human made construct. All there really was and is, is Love.........I miss their physical presence, but understanding that in the energy sense, they never truly went away, I am able to bring them near whenever I think of them.
I'm sure like many of us, we hold hopes for a brighter future and never has the beginning of a new year been given so much pressure to prove its worth now.
I entered this year with trepidation. My expectations for life have been diminished greatly by current limitations. But that's ok. As I reflect on last year, I realised, despite everything, I was still able to meet some new and interesting people who have now become firm friends.
I experienced my first Sound bath and Demonstration. I had a great Birthday gathering that took form as an adventure treasure trail all in the great outdoors followed by an amazing vegetarian curry from all the veg grown in my garden. - I love how food brings people together.
I held an Art Exhibition open to the whole village in a neighbours beautiful garden with drinks and cake. What a stunning evening it was too! One couldn't have wished for a more quintessential Summers evening. And speaking of the village, I organised for our community to get together in the Autumn and help plant another thousand Daffodil bulbs around our Avenue of Remembrance. If there is one legacy I leave behind to be proud of, that will be it.
I have been training as a Conscious Health Coach which will see me qualified in the Spring of this year. And before the year was almost out, I received a late request to take on a painted commission and finally, an exchange of emails between myself and the surgeon who severed my facial nerve that has given closure to the both of us.
All these achievements were through no control of mine other than the initial email I sent to the surgeon.
Simply by just 'Being', life was still able to unfold through surprising twists and turns and in many ways, perhaps even better than had I tried to influence and control things,
My biggest lesson last year was to truly understand how stress and beliefs around events has a detrimental affect on the body.
Although last year brought many gifts, I still had times of feeling angry and frustrated. I allowed them to seep into my core Most of the time, I was able to utilize the energy for the greater good. This is where creating art has always been my saviour. But after my friend died, suddenly I found myself at a complete loss, walking a terrain I had never walked on, alone and adrift. my motto had always been to face up to my fears, but in the face of adversity, I literally lost my face. At least half of it through paralysis and once more, I find myself in a position of relearning to use my muscles all over again.
This time, I will value my health and my body even more.
I don't know what 2021 will bring, I dont know what I want to do or achieve. But what I do know is how I want to feel and that is down to me how I choose to respond to life. I do not give permission for any external source to influence my inner peace and joy. This is an ongoing lesson of course. But one I hope I am understanding the older I become. They do say, wisdom comes with age.....
