Moving forwards

The Soul Shepherdess and her Muse.

As we are approaching towards the end of January already, I have been tentatively turning my focus on what I might achieve for 2019. I have never been one to create new year resolutions, but I do like to tune into my heart and soul to explore what they need. Moving forwards is important to me.
However, that said, I find it beneficial to look back and find my learning's of the previous year. As it happens, currently I have no choice but to look back because of my legal case. It makes for uncomfortable reading and its taken a few days to process the information that has surfaced.
I have never been one to regret my experiences, but to look back at some photo's of me after surgery, I barely recognize her. The sadness I feel for her, is at times overwhelming. But what I have come to learn is that my face and my body isn't all that I am. I cohabit it, but the essence of who I am runs far far deeper than the shell I am fortunate enough to walk around in. Somebody physically broke a part of me last year but they could never break my spirit. No one can.
I have learnt that I am stronger than I ever believed I could be. If I could bottle that inner strength, I would. Sometimes I am afraid that it will elude me one day.
It is a strength that comes from love, forgiveness and a feeling that I am never alone. Call it God, call it Source, call it Gaia. But whatever it is, it isn't actually coming from me alone. Perhaps it helps to have a faith, but to me it's also been hope. A tenacious belief that things can always get better. Our time on earth is brief. I want to make the most of it and to leave a legacy striving for peaceful solutions and community cooperation.

It is perhaps also time to share the latest development in my life and introduce my Muse. I have known him for a few years. I liken him to an Ox or a Bull. He is strong physically, but emotionally too. For the first time in my life, I feel safe enough to be carried by someone other than my parents. It is not so much that I need to be carried. Last year taught me that I can do that myself! But recently it has been a real gift after all that has happened to feel loved and supported unconditionally, to feel secure enough to know that I won't be dropped or left abandoned when the going gets tough.
I don't know where this new found experience will take us, but I am determined to enjoy it for what it is. Life has far too many obstacles to navigate to be concerned about how long love might last. I prefer to look at love never dying but rather evolving.

Angels are for life, not just for Christmas

Just before Christmas I began a new series of artwork to give as a token gift to various friends and family as a way to express my gratitude for all their love and support during the challenging period I experienced last year.

The subject matter was aptly chosen for the time of year as Angels. However, the seasonal sentiment ran far deeper, conveying a less frivolous message but more of a gesture to demonstrate that not all Angels have wings. In fact, it is in my experience that they appear in the most unexpected of ways.
This in mind, as I started to paint, many faces flooded my minds eye and I soon realised that not only has it been my closest friends and family who lifted my spirits, but people I didn't know so well, including  strangers.
We underestimate the impact our words and actions have on each other. I pledge this year that we all be kinder to one another. Who knows how we might change somebody's world, if even for a minute, lets choose to make it a better more joyful and peaceful version.
I like this quote as a reminder.

"Before you speak, let your words pass three gates.
At the first gate ask yourself, "Is it true?"
At the second gate, ask, "Is it necessary?"
At the third gate, ask, "Is it Kind?"
-Rumi.

In the meantime, Angels are still being painted! I still have many more to send flying on their way this month and then the next mission will be for an Angel to be posted through every door of my village.

Angels are for life, not just for Christmas.