Frozen

It's easy to remain in good spirits when the sun his shining.
This  weekend has been a good one. I even managed to get out in the garden to mow the lawn and trim a hedge yesterday. I feel as if I have finally emerged from my bath.
Today we took a mini excursion out to a nearby village flower festival.
This afternoon has been spent illustrating and writing a new story idea I woke up with.

Despite having half a frozen face life is ok. I do of course get frustrated, but when something in your body stops working, it's all the little things that really begin to matter.
I am still waiting for physio appointments to come through, but every morning I lie in bed moving my face in the most peculiar of fashions. I have come up with nicknames, Like the Mick Jagger & Elvis lips. I even practice the Anne Robinson wink, I still can't wink yet though.......
On the plus side. I am managing with much muster to close my eye and keep it closed when sleeping. I think I have a little more movement in my lips, I am certainly not dribbling my cup of tea in the morning now.
One big let down though is the inability to whistle. I was out with the dogs yesterday and out of habit went to throw my belter of a whistle which I learnt to do years ago using my thumb and forefinger. All that came out was a pathetic whine before petering out to dribble. Another thing to relearn.

Now that I am resurfacing from my dreamland, I am beginning to remember what life I had before it became frozen along with my face.
Before I went into hospital, I had began a campaign to raise money for planting 14 tree's in our village. I had raised £200 by the time I had my op. I am  keen to get the ball rolling again to gain permission from our City Council having received the blessings from our Local Parish Council.
I signed up for more singing & Yoga lessons. I want to return to them as soon as I can.
But life has changed. There is no doubt about it. The little annoyances, the disagreements, all the bullshit. none of that matters. I have cleared my page. I am starting anew.
The words 'Never and 'Victim' act to me as a red rag would do to a bull.
No one will take away my power because it will alway's be mine to use.
My Seashell from my first dream when all this began, is vibrating with sounds. They are getting louder as I am getting stronger. My nerves are tingling with anticipation. New horizons are on its way I can almost see them. And I am standing tall. I am smiling, my face no longer the frozen atlas that it was. Instead, the scars glow a warm light. I am more than those old wounds, they are only part of my story, but they are not the whole.

Photo from Privett Church Flower Festival