Home

I am finally home. This is me recuperating in the garden earlier! And yes I did get a bit warm, but initially I think my body was still in shock. I needed the warmth from the Sun and the grounding my lawn could give me.
Surgery went smoothly and to plan. I was a fascinating case said the consultants registrar this morning. I'm not sure they have seen the inside of an ear like mine before. The procedure was complicated and sensitive and took around 3 hours to complete.
So what I have had done now, is the original prosthetic bone from the first operation removed. There was no way on being able to salvage the severed nerve and keep my new hearing intact due to the abnormality of my inner ear structure. Unfortunately it was the new prosthetic put in place on Thursday that damaged the main facial nerve.
To help repair this nerve, I have had a nerve grafted from a smaller one linked to the earlobe. They took around a half of it (3cms) to bridge the gap. It means that I will lose feeling in my earlobe but I can live with that if it means I can blink and smile once more.
I was well looked after at Southampton hospital. When I saw my new consultant just before the op. I checked with him that he had a good lunch because I didn't want my procedure to be caffeine fueled alone. He laughed and also assured me that he had a good nights sleep too. Which made two of us. Surprisingly I have been sleeping well at home. Lesson Number six. Humor must be sought at all times and used whenever possible. It helps to break down barriers and brings about the human element. We are more than just a number on a piece of paper.
I came out of theater remembering a dream about walking around a big house on a pebbled beach. The last bit I recall was picking up a seashell and cupping it over my ear to listen to waves. Ironically it was the ear that I cannot hear from. There must be a metaphoric message in that vision somewhere I'm sure.

So now that I am home, the next few steps will be to rebuild my strength. Anesthetic twice in such quick succession really doesn't feel good to the system. But I know that with rest I will recover.
My ears feel like I have bath water sloshing around inside that I cannot get rid of. I have stitches on my neck and head and bruises are beginning to appear. My face feels swollen and my eye really stings. But on the whole, I am in no great pain which I am grateful for.
I was sharing the ward with some pretty poorly ladies. One of them is being discharged today, she had a panic attack last night. The nurse did her best to console her but as I was walking past I came and sat down on her bed next to her and just held her hand. I introduced myself and asked if she minded if I tapped her hand because I was an EFT practitioner. Within 5 minutes she was calm. We talked about her work, her pet rabbits and I told her that she was going to be ok. I think the nurse didn't quite know what to do so left us to it.
Some beautiful energies were exchanged in that ward that night and I had all the ladies thank me as I left for home this morning. But it was they who were also shining beacons and I told them so.
I very much hope that they all find the resolutions and resolve to heal so that they can continue to shine forth in the world.
It got me thinking about our individual journeys on earth and I have come to recognize ours are not to dim each others lights but rather our mission in life is to help each other to shine brighter than we can ever imagine.
I have so much more to write. But for now I am feeling tired. I sense myself riding a wave of love at the moment which I know is keeping me going, but I am also aware that like every wave it will need to reach the shore line eventually.
I will keep in mind that the landing will be gentle and I shall lie on the sand and quietly grieve for what was so that I can make space to move forwards. I will pick up that empty Seashell from my dream and listen to the wisdom it will have to offer. Clarity will come in its own good time.